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| Kathern's Kabinet (her china cabinet) |
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| Vintage Kathern 1926 |
You see, I know from growing up at her footsteps that she had at least one family member who really disliked her. I knew from being around said family member that this dislike was sincere. I was present when Kathern would knock on a door, not to be answered (although the tv was on and it was obvious someone was home). I was there when Kathern would call, only to be hung up on. Why all this occured truly doesn't matter. What does matter is the grace and forgiveness Kathern extended to this person, and to others who distanced themselves from her.
Kathern, (I mean, Neno, and please allow me to use these names interchangebly), while full of vim and vigor and an amazing ability to not take any garbage from anyone, hurt deeply inside. Although she had a facade that could be intimidating if you didn't know her, inside she was pure-d-old-human (pure-d-old....that's another Neno-ism). Her heart suffered breakage from every avenue imaginable, but somehow many thought that her tough exterior exempted her from having feelings. Not so. Although I didn't see her cry at the heartbreak (it was old and she was thick-skinned by the time I discovered it), I did see disappointment in her eyes from missing out on the lives of those who distanced themselves, and I heard her pain in the heavy sighs she would breathe when realizing lost time, never to be regained in this life, with those same people.
While she had every reason to be mean and spiteful, she was not. Had any of these people approached her with a need, she would have given them the dress off her back. Yes, dress. Neno never wore pants as long as I knew her. As a matter of fact, Neno gave a home to the one person who despised her the most, when it was needed the most.
From my limited knowledge of this family drama, I deduced that bitterness and spite from an incident that happened moons ago was the lifelong fuel for a fire that never truly experienced extinguishing grace from both parties. Oh, Neno showed grace, but the other side never fully let go of the disdain. As a result, many people missed out on an amazing relationship with an amazing woman. As a matter of fact, I spoke in tribute about Neno at her funeral, and part of this paragraph was the gist of my message. The funeral director (sweet old Walter Cobb, the guy who was never supposed to die but did) told me afterward, in his southern drawl, "Honey, I don't know how you done it. You done good. You got that same bite in the eye that she had." I took it all as a compliment. :)
I suppose my purpose in this posting is to highlight grace. Someone in this life will do you wrong (whether they do or not, you will at least perceive it). You will have two choices; forgive and get over it, or don't forgive and let it fester inside your mind until you are bitter. And, if you choose the latter, the bitterness won't be restricted to just the person toward whom you are bitter.
I can't help but think of the people in Joplin, Missouri, who just a week ago experienced the wrath of an F-5 tornado that flattened a third of the town and killed over 100 people of all ages. I would imagine, prior to that life altering event, people probably had their drama, their squabbles, and dislikes for one another, such as is common in the human race. I can also imagine that after devastation consumed lives and livelihoods in a matter of seconds, drama, squabbles, and dislikes disappeared. They didn't matter anymore.
Last fall, when my hometown experienced the tragic, unexpected death of a beautiful young woman, we all came together and were united like we hadn't been in my history there. People who I perceived as my enemies all of a sudden were fellow grievers with me. Our differences evaporated.
Why does it take a tornado or the untimely death of a young person to get us to the point of forgetting our differences, and extending grace and forgiveness? Until a lifetime has passed, and we are lowing a casket into the ground, we never fully know what failure to forgive has cost us.
At Kathern's funeral I reminded those in attendance (many who hadn't visited her in years) that although they lost their time with her in this life, they could have an eternity with her in heaven. And why is this possible? Because of God's grace, extended to us. Kathern had an enormous amount of grace in her kabinet, and she extended it. Some accepted it happily, others, not so much. And that's the way it is with our Lord.
I can't tell you how happy I am that Neno's life, and little trinkets around her house, impacted my life for the better. Not for perfection mind you, but for the better. She had a brown, chalk-resin plaque over her bedroom door that read, "Only one life, 'twill soon be past; only what's done for Christ will last."
I know she wasn't perfect either. I'm certain she had skeletons in her closet. But, there was grace in God's cabinet that she willingly accepted when she gave her life to the Lord. And, as she became more Christ-like as she lived, she extended forgiveness and grace, whether she'd done someone wrong or not.
To me, that's something she did for Christ that will last. God filled Kathern's kabinet with grace, and she gave it away with a willing heart.
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